Girl, Forsaken Page 2

  I know I’m close to figuring out the virus, and I suppose having another set of hands would help or even give me new perspective. I prefer Jackson, as I at least know he knows what the hell he’s doing, but I can’t exactly walk my human best friend into a vampire compound and tell him to ignore the speedy figures with pointy teeth.

  I may hate what I’ve become, or at least how I am forced into the life of a vampire, but that doesn’t change the fact I’m the best person this could’ve happened to, at least for the Draugur and Baetal’s sakes.

  Nikolai’s slides tell me nothing on the surface, except he is immune to the virus now, which means he really didn’t lie about me curing him when he attacked me. Check one in his pro column. He doesn’t seem to lie, even if it’s not exactly in his benefit to tell the truth. “Unlike fucking Arsen, who lies when he breathes, apparently,” I mumble, bitter that I’m still wondering what had made a clunk when I’d dropped the package outside the door.

  I toss some of Niko’s blood in the mass spectrometer and punch in my access code, queueing up more tests that can run as I meet Jackson for some much-needed human interaction and lunch. A shiver tickles down my spine and I sigh heavily. “I thought I’d have a little more ‘quiet time’ before you came back, Nikolai.” I glance at the clock. It’s only been three hours.

  “You said an hour or three. I gave you three. And I gave you my blood. I don’t offer my blood to just anyone. I’d like to know what you’ve learned from it.” He sits across my workstation, drumming his long fingers on the previously sterile surface.

  I purse my lips and smack his hand away. “Keep your germy hands off my surfaces.” I wave my hand around, encasing all the blinking equipment around me. “Tests take time. Once they’re done, I’ll be able to tell you something. Real science takes time. It’s not like the TV shows where they snap their fingers and presto, the killer’s DNA has been found instantly.” I lean against the counter, facing him. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask . . . How the hell can you afford all this equipment?”

  The costs of maintaining the state-of-the-art transmission cryo-electron microscope averages around one hundred thousand dollars a year. And that’s not even the cost of buying the actual product. And this lab is like any scientist’s wet dream. Brand-new, cutting-edge equipment and technology. Things that my advisor on campus has been drooling over and begging the department heads for years to purchase, just sitting here, in this lab, for my use.

  “Investments always make money if you leave them long enough.” Nikolai chuckles at the frown on my face. “Buy land and a hundred years later, it will be worth more when you sell it. Fund a startup company, with smart profit options, and you’d be surprised how it pays off.” He laughs aloud and grins at something, and for a moment I’m afraid to know what it is. “I made a killing during the prohibition.”

  Yeah, I’m sure he did. Literally. “I got another box from Arsen. Can you make sure it gets sent back?”

  “Why even send it back? Light it on fire for all I care.”

  I glance back at the door and shake my head. “I dunno. It’s more likely to be full of infected blood he wants cured. That’s about the only thing you two have in common.” Finding this godforsaken cure.

  Nikolai strokes one long, slender finger down my cheek and my hair rises on the back of my neck. “I think you know of at least one other thing we have in common, Sasha,” he murmurs in my ear. “But you have work to do, and I have people in need of a real cure, not stopgap measures while you play keep-away with your heart.”

  I bat his hand away, angry that he can see right through me so easily. “I’m in here every day and every night. I work until I pass out at my desk and still you think this is about some sort of revenge.”

  Nikolai shrugs. “Sadly, I am not uneducated when it comes to matters concerning the human heart and emotions. I just choose to ignore them. You would fare better if you did the same.”

  I’ll get right on that. Just flip a switch and all my emotions turn off. I haven’t had decades of practice being an unfeeling jackass. “Whatever, Nikolai. I’ve got lunch plans, these tests are running, and you know I’m not out to screw the vampire race over. After all, you made sure that I’m just as invested in finding this cure, as well, thanks to your attack.”

  “I’ve spent a small fortune on this lab of yours. Get me some results, and prove it wasn’t a mistake letting you lick your wounds here.”

  “Oh, fuck off, Nikolai. Seriously, just get the hell out of my face.”

  Lightning fast, his fingernails dig into my skin as he clenches his hand around my jaw and pulls my face close to his. “Right now, all I have to show for winning you is millions of dollars in equipment and a clan of sick vampires. My patience will not last forever, Sasha.”

  I wrench myself away despite the pain and the blood I feel trickling down my neck. The wounds will heal by the time I meet Jackson. “Then stop hovering and let me do my job. We can keep having this argument every day, or you can stay out of my way. Don’t forget that I’m not the one who made you all sick. I’m the one working to fix it, and I didn’t ask for this job. I was forced into it.”

  An emotion I can’t describe crosses his face before he slams his mouth shut with a loud click. He pivots and storms out, and I raise two middle fingers at his retreating back.

  The fact that I finally got to him is a hollow victory, and one I’m afraid I’ll pay for later. But for now, I’ve bought myself a little more time. A little more space to breath. Hopefully this scientist of his actually knows something about vampire genetics and can help because I’m almost at my wit’s end.

  Who knew being one of the undead would be so fucking complicated?

  Chapter 2

  I label another failed set of tests and place them back in the refrigerator just as my phone rings, the shrill tone startling me. I’ve gone through two phones in the past month, one being destroyed in my attack, the other gone missing at some point. Thank God for the cloud keeping all my shit backed up for me. My lady Mass Spec and her other lover, Mr. DNA Sequencer, are still hours out from my latest battery of analyses, and I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than change my scenery and my company. We quickly ring off after he tells me where we’re eating, and I head out.

  I’m not surprised that he picked Forage, the café around the corner from campus. It’s his favorite place to eat and they have killer smoothies. It’s nice to see Jackson, even with having to keep all these secrets from him. It’s unsettling for me. We’ve always told each other everything, but I’m not exactly sure how to work the fact that I’m now a bloodsucker into polite conversation.

  “What looks good to you?” Jackson peers over the top of his menu at me. “I think I’m just going to get my usual.”

  I stifle the urge to reply with “your carotid” and chew on the inside of my cheek as I scan my options. I’ve always loved the food here, and my indecision puts a damper on my good mood. “I guess I’ll have a steak sandwich and five gallons of caffeine.”

  Jackson grins and sets his menu to one side. “Sounds good. I’ll add the caffeine to mine.” He rubs his hands in front of him, his excitement for the food endearing. His ever-present necklace slides out of his polo shirt, and the metal glints under the lights above. Something about the design triggers a memory. You’ve seen it a million times, moron. I chastise myself for my paranoia. It’s Jackson. I’ve known him forever. Before I can ask him about it, his phone vibrates on the table and he frowns at it. “I’ve got to take this. Do you mind?”

  “Not at all. I’ll order for you.”

  He answers the phone, saying sorry before talking to whoever is on the other line. “Yeah, hold on, let me move somewhere quieter. I’m in the middle of lunch.” He pushes back from the table, setting his messenger bag on his seat. I consider taking out my own phone and checking for any messages from Nikolai. Not that I want any messages from him. Half of me hopes Arsen will text me. The other half hopes he doesn’t. I’
m just not sure how I’d respond.

  “Welcome to Forage, what can I get you today?” the waitress chirps next to me.

  “Holy shit!” I blurt out, surprised that I didn’t hear her coming.

  “I’m sorry, did I startle you?” She gives me an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to.”

  “No, sorry, it’s okay. My fault. I was so caught up in my own world, I didn’t hear you coming.” I grin up at her.

  “So, are you ready to order or should I wait until your friend gets back?” She shifts from foot to foot, clearly not wanting to hang around and chat with me.

  “No, he had to take a call, but he wants a steak sandwich with the fries and a coke to drink, please.”

  “Sure thing. What can I get you?” The sweet smell of her perfume is warm and inviting when I draw in a breath to respond, and I instinctively press my tongue against my top teeth.

  “The same, but I’d like a salad on the side as well, if that’s okay?” I hate how insecure I sound, but my brain is muddled by her closeness. And I’m terrified that my fangs are going to drop down at any second. My mouth waters at her scent like she’s a fresh chocolate chip cookie out of the oven, and I don’t care if taking a bite out of her would burn my mouth.

  “I can get you just about anything you want. We switch things out all the time. I’ll go put that in for you and be back with your drinks.” I thank her as she flashes a grin at me and sashays away.

  Fucking hell. I’m equal parts repulsed by my instincts and fascinated. I know that this will happen. I’m a vampire. I need blood to survive. But out in public like this, I hadn’t expected for the pull to be so strong. I’d always had another vampire with me to keep me occupied. Or I’d been too preoccupied at school to notice anything else.

  “It’s not easy to ignore when it hits you, is it?” A familiar voice behind me murmurs so softly, for a moment, I think I’m hearing things.

  I spin in my seat and look up at him, mouth hanging open in shock. Arsen Eskandar. In the flesh, looking edible as ever. I scowl at my own thoughts, but my heart betrays me by fluttering wildly at the sight of him. Why can’t he look more ragged like I do? I’ve got bags under my eyes despite the fact that I’m a vampire. Why couldn’t I get the instant beauty upgrade Bella got in Twilight? So unfair.

  “Sasha.” He gives me a small bow before pulling out the seat next to me, gracefully sliding into it.

  “Arsen.” I sit up straighter in my chair and act like his nearness isn’t glorious. “Why are you here? I have nothing to say to you, and I’m trying to enjoy my lunch with my friend.” I leave the half begging/half threat unspoken for him to leave before Jackson comes back from his call. He stares at me and I huff in annoyance. “Arsen?”

  He clears his throat. “It’s Annabelle.”

  My stomach plummets and I rest my hand over his on the table. “Oh, God, Arsen. Oh no. She isn’t . . . is she?”

  “She is alive, but barely. Claudette is sitting with her while I’m out. Sasha, she’s so weak from the illness that she no longer recognizes anyone, not even me. I need to know where you are on the cure, or I need some of the cure you gave to Nikolai for her.”

  I nod and take a breath now that I know we still have time to save Annabelle. She’s innocent of all of this. Although I’m not sure how safe she is with Claudette, Arsen’s ex-consort. If anyone stands in Claudette’s way of getting Arsen back or taking his attention off her, she tries to do away with them. “Of course. But, I haven’t unlocked the key to reproducing it. I’ll help you if I can, but I promise I don’t have anything close to a cure right now. Is death imminent? Can you tell me about her symptoms?”

  “Would you just come and see her? I don’t know what to look for to give you the information you need to help you.” He clasps my hands between his and I lean back, frustrated that he’s using my feelings for him as a tool to get his way. Yet again.

  I pull my hands from his grasp, anger churning in my gut. “You know I can’t go back there. Not after everything that happened.” I shake my head and laugh bitterly. “You know, I thought you were here to apologize, not to use my feelings for you as a weapon against me to get what you want. Again.”

  He stares down at his hands in his lap and for a moment, he looks completely human in his helplessness. “I made mistakes out of desperation. Annabelle doesn’t deserve to suffer for them.”

  I agree that she doesn’t, but why is it okay that I suffer? I don’t voice my thoughts, and he continues like my silence is agreement.

  “You are here. You could come back with me, right now.”

  I shake my head. “No. Right now, I’m here with my friend, who has never used me or betrayed me. I’ll do what I can for Annabelle, but right now, I have to ask you to leave.”

  He squeezes my thigh under the table, the heat from his hand igniting every memory of every intimate moment we’ve shared. I can’t make myself pull my leg away, his touch feels so good, and I refuse to meet his eyes, knowing he’ll see the conflict and desire.

  I bite my lip, sticking to my decision, even though I so badly want to forget about what happened. “I can’t, Arsen.”

  “Everything okay here?” Jackson asks, assessing the situation as he takes his seat.

  “Yeah, everything is fine. Arsen was just leaving.” I pull my lips into a semblance of a smile for Jackson’s benefit.

  “Sasha—” Arsen starts but Jackson cuts him off.

  “Dude, she asked you to leave. Respect her wishes.”

  Arsen raises a brow and the male posturing begins. God save me from men and their egos.

  Arsen scoffs and glowers across the table at Jackson. “Of course, it could only be you that she’s here with, Jackson.”

  But I won’t let him get to Jackson, no matter what. The realization hits me hard; I have to tell Jackson everything. I groan inwardly and glance between the two men who hold more of my heart than any others—the vampire I can’t stop wanting no matter how hard I try and my human best friend.

  I’m unsure why there is so much tension. They’d only met briefly in the hospital when I was first attacked, and Arsen Jedi mind tricked Jackson so we could slip away.

  “But I’m not here to speak with you. Not today,” says Arsen.

  “Well, that’s a relief, because I’d hate to have to forcibly remove you in front of a restaurant full of people if you were.”

  “Guys, let’s just tone it down a little.” I catch the curious stares of other patrons in the café-style restaurant.

  Arsen ignores me and returns Jackson’s glare with one of amused contempt. God. The testosterone level is enough to choke anyone, but I don’t know how to stop them, aside from kicking both their asses. I don’t want to get kicked out before I’ve satisfied at least one hunger gnawing at my stomach.

  “You couldn’t even if you tried, Tate.”

  Jackson snorts. “You heard her, man. Don’t cause a scene. Just walk away and leave it alone.” Jackson’s voice barely contains violence and the hatred between them rises like heat waves on pavement. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jackson react like this to anyone before with an instant dislike.

  Arsen stands, scoffing at Jackson before he shifts to address me. “You think he’s your friend because he stands between us, Sasha. Perhaps you need to ask him what he’s really searching for, instead of blindly following someone who hides so much of himself from you.”

  He’s gone before I can even sort through his confusing and odd statement, leaving me gaping at Jackson in an embarrassed apology. “I was not expecting to see him again, like, ever,” I say, picking at the tablecloth and resisting the urge to kick my feet and scream at the space where Arsen was. “I think he might have stalked you a little because we’re friends. That is super creepy and I am so sorry.”

  “Saved by the food,” he replies, his jaw tense. The waitress leans forward to place my lunch in front of me. I look anywhere but at her neck where her pulse beats, holding my breath so I don’t inhale her scent
again.

  “Enjoy the food. If you need anything, just let me know.” Jackson’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as she unceremoniously dumps his plate in front of him and walks away without another word.

  “You really need to vet your boyfriends more carefully,” he continues our conversation from before she arrived.

  “Maybe I’ll stop having boyfriends all together,” I quip, and for the moment, the tension is broken. But it will return, as it always does lately. He’ll think I’m crazy, but Arsen is right about one thing. I need to stop keeping secrets from Jackson and tell him everything. He’ll think I’ve gone bananas, but at least I’ll have that weight off me.

  Lunch is less appetizing after Arsen’s appearance, and since all Jackson wants to do is grill me about him, I eat as much as I can stand as quickly as possible, so we can leave. Jackson inhales his food, too, because he’s Jackson and that’s his baseline, but he is still able to pepper me with questions in between taking bites and breathing. Before I can make my excuses and take off, he pushes his plate back and leans toward me over the table.

  “Hey, I’m sorry that guy upset you. I didn’t mean to grill you so hard about it. Let me take you back to campus.”

  I wave him off. “It’s okay. I know you’ve got better things to do than chauffer me around.”

  He sighs and places his hand over mine, the warmth seeping through my cold skin and that instinct inside me draws closer to the surface. Hunger for blood. For nourishment only a human or blood bag can provide. “I need to talk to you about something, and it isn’t really the kind of talk for a crowded restaurant.”

  “Everything okay?” I ask, and he nods, dropping a few bills on the table for our lunch.

  “Yeah, I just think we need to not have this conversation here.”

  “Okay.” I grab my backpack and follow him out to his car, my stomach in knots from the concern over what he’s going to say. I focus on repressing my bloodthirst, reminding myself that I can grab a bag of blood back at Niko’s lab when we’re done.